Vigilante Vegan-Ending Cockfighting And Other Depravities by Susan Gordon, 2001 I used to be against the death penalty. Then, about 20 years ago, I got involved in animal rights and saw, first hand, and with stomach churning frequency, how common human evil is. Now, while still opposed to capital punishment in the abstract, I long to be the judge, jury, and executioner for every animal abuser who has ever defiled the planet with his presence. As the most frequently committed vile acts-the torture and killing of animals-are not capital crimes (and legal, institutionalized killing is not a crime, at all), I've had to make do with a fantasy. After I die, I will have my own reality show, "Killed by an Angel", in which I will be a cross between Charles Bronson and the archangel Michael - an avenging angel for the animals. Luckily for the animal abusers, it is only a fantasy, similar to the fantasies of almost all animal advocates I know. While these lowliest of humans kill the most innocent among us, we won't shed even the blood of such monsters. My fantasy was again awakened after reading "Gamecocks of New York: A fan of the Bloodsport Seeks to Explain" (will we next be treated to the fond reminiscences of rapes by a fan of that sport?). In the article, which belongs on the bookshelf next to Mein Kampf, a piece of human excrement named Dennis Jordan proudly waxes repellent about his fondness for the depravity known as cockfighting. He tells us misinformed softies, right at the start, what every abuser, slave holder, and exploiter has said throughout history-the victims love it and the exploiters just love their victims to pieces (literal pieces in cockfighting). I shudder to imagine how they visit this kind of love upon their families. Is it a coincidence that they have chosen to abuse an animal whose name also graces that organ of which they are so insecure? Jordan's philosophy is that "people will do what people will do." That is certainly true of lazy, selfish people who do not have the brains or heart to make CONSCIOUS choices in life, and who scratch every itch, no matter the consequences to others. If we all took this philosophy to heart, Jordan would be as vulnerable to every bully, like himself, who comes his way, as the birds are. Jordan says that the activities he enjoys "exploit animals", but he uses the term "exploit", as if it were a neutral verb (exploit animals, watch TV, mow the lawn). He cannot see beyond theimmediacy of the "strategies, training techniques, and breeding" to question any of it. He proudly shares cockfighting's roots through pre-history and our species' violent, distant past. Some of us are actually pleased to have evolved past our cave man and Roman arena past. The friends Jordan describes make my skin crawl. In person, I would cross the continent to avoid them; cheats, murderers, degenerates - the only types who could find sport in animal abuse. One of these paragons of compassion fondly recalls his memories of Puerto Rico, where the country boys fought any animal they could to make money. One of their amusing hijinks was to tie a string around the neck of a pigeon, swing her in the air, and gamble on when the pigeon's body would detach from her head. Jordan chastises New York for its failure to exhibit the "enlightenment" of the states that still allow cockfighting. He must have a different dictionary than I do. He compares the preparation of the birds, for the pit, to that done for football players. That analogy will be apt when little boys are bred for viciousness and football skills, are kept imprisoned when not playing ball, have their toes clipped off and replaced by spurs, and are forced to play to the death while drooling, human mutants bet on the winner and tell the public that the boys are naturally aggressive ("it's what they do"). The profiled animal abusers are virtuous in their consistency. They do whatever they want "whenever it's convenient or we can't help ourselves". Why stop at torturing birds when there is a whole world of cruelty-fur, leather, veal-and irresponsibility-smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling- in which to revel? Jordan succeeded in his goal of "explaining" his fervor for bloodsports. He and his friends are amoral, immature, irresponsible, thugs who lack the most basic marks of civilized behavior and they are proud of it. Readers of Jordan's article who find the wretched people and activities (birds squirting blood "like a fire hose", "slow kills") he glorifies, anything but repugnant, need immediate psychiatric care, as they pose a danger to society. Let these cowards, who live vicariously through the animals they force to fight, offer up their own bodies instead. Let us find some place to permanently keep these misfits separate from all animals, so that they only have each other to exploit. Since they are, by definition, lacking in honor or courage, and would be uninterested in a fair fight, let them choose, by lot, who will enter the fight naked and unarmed, and who will have weapons. Let's add child abusers and rapists, as there is no difference between those who abuse animals and those who abuse vulnerable humans. I'll take care of the surviving demons after I die. It will give me something to look forward to.