Kinship Circle Letter Campaigns & Animal Rights Activism

by Brenda Shoss

A Vegan Wedding

The Farm Sanctuary wedding of Brenda Suzanne Shoss and Dr. Graydon Lee Ballard, III began as an argument one year ago. "We'll never set a date or place at this rate," I'd said to my procrastinating fiance.

"If you could get married anywhere in the world, where would it be?" he'd asked with the urgency of a snail. I'd searched for an over-the-top retort: "I want to get married with the cows and a liberal rabbi at Farm Sanctuary!"

I am a Jewish, vegan animal rights activist with adopted cows and turkeys. Grady is a Christian carnivore with an open mind. "That sounds like it might be fun," he'd responded. Thus, a concept was born.

Within days, I'd contacted Farm Sanctuary to secure our wedding date. To complicate matters, we became pregnant in February. How would I pull off this monumental event at seven months pregnant?

I relied upon the organizational expertise of my sister, Deanna Shoss, and friend, Janet Enoch. But it was my parents, Sammy and Bill Shoss, who led me to this luminous day. As the original ethical vegetarians in the family, they offered their support, time and generosity.

On the Big Day guests entered the People Barn, Farm Sanctuary's airy visitor's center. Amid veal crates, battery hen cages and other vestiges of intensive confinement farming, wildflowers rose in rainbow-colored arcs. A serenade of our favorite Neil Young, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and Sarah McLauchlan tunes softened the scene into a poignant mix of love and hope.

Animals had shown me that life is all we truly possess. Now, I was prepared to share my life with another. Still, my knees trembled as I approached the huppah, the Jewish wedding canopy held aloft by friends and relatives. When Rabbi Miriam Biatch compared love's sanctuary to the compassion and respect found at Farm Sanctuary, I reached for my mother's hand. At last I'd found love for animals and a human kindred spirit under one roof.

Of course, not everyone was equally enthralled. When you mesh non-vegetarian in-laws with animal rights activists, you wind up with a hodgepodge of reactions from wonderment to disdain. Naysayers aside, the day proceeded in the spirit of summer camp. Guests changed from suits and satins into sweats and sneakers to meet the rescued animals.

Farm Sanctuary co-founders Gene and Lorri Bauston kicked off our tour with a tribute to Queenie, the six-month-old calf who had just escaped from a Queens, New York slaughterhouse. Hundreds of animal advocates had phoned in pleas for Queenie's transfer to a humane sanctuary. The night before our wedding, a mud-covered Lorri arrived with the bewildered runaway. No longer destined to become cheap veal, a more relaxed Queenie nuzzled wedding guests the next day.

In retrospect, my dream wedding conjures images of an eclectic group scattered over green hills and pastures. Old friends knelt with turkeys and my sister greeted pigs in her Nordstrom's gown. We eventually reconvened in the People Barn for a vegan feast. The delectable edibles contained no meat, dairy or eggs.

The guests who actually made the long journey to Farm Sanctuary were bonded in effort and awe. Everyone, including Doug Hicks our veteran wedding photographer, agreed: "This was a wedding I'll never forget."

To reprint this article in your publication, web site or list, please request author permission: info@kinshipcircle.org

Kinship Circle’s column runs bimonthly in The Healthy Planet. Ms. Shoss is also a contributing writer for The Animals Voice, Satya Magazine, VegNews, and other publications. If you would like to reprint this column, please request author permission at info@kinshipcircle.org

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